Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night. Mick, the bartender, says You’ll not be drinking any
more tonight, Paddy.
Paddy replies OK Mick, I’ll be on my way then. Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face.
What the….? he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on
his face again. Damn! he says.
He looks to the doorway and thinks that if he can just get to the door and get some fresh air he’ll be fine. He belly crawls to the
door and shimmies up the door frame.
He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the pavement and falls flat
on his face.
Bi’Jesus… I’m soused, he says.
He can see his house just a few doors down, and decides to try for it. He crawls down the st reet and shimmies up the door frame, opens
the door and looks inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says, No flappin’ way.
But he somehow crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and thinks, I think I can make it to the bed. He takes a step into the room
and falls flat on his face again. He says, This is hell. I gotta stop drinking, but manages to crawl to the bed and fall in.
The next morning, his wife comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last
night?
Paddy says, I did Jess. I was totally pissfaced. But how’d you know?
Knowingly, she replied, Mick called….You left your wheelchair at the pub…